Lovely lunch and deep connection with Jackie yesterday in our back yard city garden sanctuary. Caroused with old adventure training buds at Gary and Melinda's on Saturday. Little Ronan growing up fast! Big walk with Newell in the Millbrook Chinese bowl garden, Innisfree on Sunday- big challenge to navigate the terrain, but very good to practice balance... such a glorious September afternoon...Martine, back from Nova Scotia wanting to go see the Peter Brook play coming to NYC in October. She must have a knee operation next week. New puppy stories there too.
MHACGC Pumpkin Walk postcards were put all over Dutchess and Albany counties last week too! Oct 18th at Olana- come one come all...
All my sense of balance is now changing, it seems the hip rehab process is now beginning to take on some real momentum of its own. Healing is happening. It's not my imagination. Energy is really in motion and I attend as a conscious participant as much as I can. All the repetition, practice of walking, going to PT 3-4 times weekly (and my home exercises) begin to actually offer a new sense of gait, balance and confidence when I meet uneven ground. Yippee! Internal structural shifts allowing new movement patterns. Not an easy transition at times, as discomfort is still very present, yet I observe, attend and on most days, offer a positive intention and engage in my current craft (of rehab) with trust that healing is indeed happening. I see it, feel it, sense it and guess what, others comment; "oh you are walking so much better now.." My chronic need for results is getting some gratification, finally- aha- see Patience does pay off.....
So keep it up, Allie. Go slowly and engage Grace as this healing unfolds- do not rush it. Awakened Heart School meditations help - two inches below the navel and three inches in. What is arising now? Practice the inquiry.
Thank you Vandita for great Kripalu meeting, saw Kavi too, had great bodywork and intense meeting with Diane last week in garden - first solo day out.... whew!
Sad not to be present and provide yoga offerings at the NYAPRS conference this week in Ellenville, but my body's strength is just not up to it. Blessings to all involved and on on the proceedings. And thanks MHANYS friends for the flowers too!
F. Newell off in Chicago for some consulting work for a few days - I am reading some great books and articles, writing more, reorganizing some family photos and professional files. Good news that son Newell Christopher and family in Texas are digging out with much help after Ike- roof was blown off, many walls and floors now up - insurance adjuster comes today.
and now off to PT....
Remember to maintain positive vibrations in this time to engage the new possibilities, even as the political and economic scenes tussle and tumble al around.
Stay in Front – Awaiting the Shifting Presence
So Now What?
The Moving part is healing-
And Patience is the cure.
While curiosity distracts
Another Energy emerges.
Balancing…
What Now Then?
Is this my Heart courageously enveloping me
Whispering, “there is no more space for that pain?”
Yet a cool emptiness persists.
Whoosh…
Now Time ceases to Exist,
A new Pattern ignites,
Inviting a return to dances up and down;
Invoking visits from angels and messages from Above,
I begin again, uncovered, unclothed,
All around.
Peace
Allie - Albany, NY
23 September 2008
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Hip singing
Mark Nepo's poem below is a certain representation of my moment-to-moment existence these days (except perhaps at night when my body can't seem (yet) to find a position of easy repose...)
Hip singing is a new sport some days, (no, not hip swinging...see reference below....:-)
(humm, makes me wonder what vibrations the titanium and steel parts in me have as possible harmonic tuning forks?
What energy from beyond can I draw toward me to help this process of harvesting all best results from this (series of) transformational events?
Everything helps, when invited from Divine Source!
Learning again and again to allow a peaceful acquiescence into my being- no forcing, let go of striving- inviting a sense of a delightful, restful, abundant healing space.
Breathing in ......and
Repeatedly, We are Asked
To embody or consume;
to be in kinship with everything larger
or to order and manage everything smaller.
We are asked, every day, to align or separate;
to coordinate our will with everything living
or to impose our will on everything we meet.
And not choosing is a choice. Acquiescence
is different from patience or surrender.
All this leaves us needing to know:
whether to better the song through practice
or to better ourselves through singing.
love, Allie - Albany - Monday 15 Sept 2008
Hip singing is a new sport some days, (no, not hip swinging...see reference below....:-)
(humm, makes me wonder what vibrations the titanium and steel parts in me have as possible harmonic tuning forks?
What energy from beyond can I draw toward me to help this process of harvesting all best results from this (series of) transformational events?
Everything helps, when invited from Divine Source!
Learning again and again to allow a peaceful acquiescence into my being- no forcing, let go of striving- inviting a sense of a delightful, restful, abundant healing space.
Breathing in ......and
Repeatedly, We are Asked
To embody or consume;
to be in kinship with everything larger
or to order and manage everything smaller.
We are asked, every day, to align or separate;
to coordinate our will with everything living
or to impose our will on everything we meet.
And not choosing is a choice. Acquiescence
is different from patience or surrender.
All this leaves us needing to know:
whether to better the song through practice
or to better ourselves through singing.
love, Allie - Albany - Monday 15 Sept 2008
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Day 26 Sunday night
Hot muggy Sunday. the weatherman said rain but it never happened.
Heard from my son Newell down near Galveston. He stayed through hurricane Ike at work. He's working nights. Wife and kids evacuated to San Antonio a few days ago. Everybody is fine. He heard from his neighbors he lost shingles off a chunk of his roof. Not sure about water damage yet. No electricity expected for a while. He planned to get to the house today
Our favorite patient continues to work hard at her physical therapy exercises for more hours than I can imagine each day. Walks are getting longer and a bit faster. Can't remember if I'd written this before- she's dropped her crutches and moved over to using a cane. Had to saw an inch off the bottom of it per PT's instructions. It was too long. She enjoyed some nice short visits this week from a few friends including a sort of last minute evening visit with two of my sisters - Gail and Emelie. Emelie flew into Albany airport for a weekend visit with her husband and bunch of the rest of us. Its her 45th bday.
Allie has been sleeping better most nights. Still very uncomfortable.
We went out on a date Saturday night - went to the movies at the Colonie mall and saw the latest batman movies - the Dark Knight. We both live such low media stim lives these days that I'm not sure which overloaded us more the movie or a mall on Saturday night. We both needed recovery after that.
I went back to a full load of work last week - strategic plan writing, a day of coaching clients and prep for a training program this week. today did a 50 mile bike ride - fundraiser for Habitat for Humanities. Along the way stopped at sister Gail and her husband Franks house helped them move the boat. its called showing up at the right time!
Newell
Heard from my son Newell down near Galveston. He stayed through hurricane Ike at work. He's working nights. Wife and kids evacuated to San Antonio a few days ago. Everybody is fine. He heard from his neighbors he lost shingles off a chunk of his roof. Not sure about water damage yet. No electricity expected for a while. He planned to get to the house today
Our favorite patient continues to work hard at her physical therapy exercises for more hours than I can imagine each day. Walks are getting longer and a bit faster. Can't remember if I'd written this before- she's dropped her crutches and moved over to using a cane. Had to saw an inch off the bottom of it per PT's instructions. It was too long. She enjoyed some nice short visits this week from a few friends including a sort of last minute evening visit with two of my sisters - Gail and Emelie. Emelie flew into Albany airport for a weekend visit with her husband and bunch of the rest of us. Its her 45th bday.
Allie has been sleeping better most nights. Still very uncomfortable.
We went out on a date Saturday night - went to the movies at the Colonie mall and saw the latest batman movies - the Dark Knight. We both live such low media stim lives these days that I'm not sure which overloaded us more the movie or a mall on Saturday night. We both needed recovery after that.
I went back to a full load of work last week - strategic plan writing, a day of coaching clients and prep for a training program this week. today did a 50 mile bike ride - fundraiser for Habitat for Humanities. Along the way stopped at sister Gail and her husband Franks house helped them move the boat. its called showing up at the right time!
Newell
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Day 21 - the work begins
Uh-oh, Now the work begins, I'm afraid - outpatient physical therapy began yesterday. Tom is a low key, wry guy, all business despite the acerbic humor. No chance to get away with any monkey business here. He even knows yoga. He has a great big office and lots of equipment, across the park, so I will be able to walk there in a few weeks myself. Newell, a great chauffeur, however the walk serves as good PT.
The old psoas and L3 will now be officially relaxed and stretched to allow the gait to become straight. My desire is strong, but, what is this tiredness? Takes a lot of energy to heal, doing PT exercises or not. And yes, the long wound on my side reminds me every day, as do the nerves in my leg, that we are still in the beginning. Muscles need re training, rest and recovery , this was a BIG surgery.
Reminded that matters of scale were always hard for me- nothing was ever too difficult, too complex, to impossible-seeming. Now, however, the real deal is to get down and just do this repetitive work of PT. "Yes we can" is the motto and Repeat! Whew. A new adventure.
Also wandered over to our neighborhood YMCA where we are members to try some upper body strengtheners. Gotta keep the balance now...
New lebanese place had a warm moussaka ready for the post training recovery. Continuing to savor all that is.....
Now Newell is going out to vote- and I will rest.....
a sweet rain today -
in appreciative amazement, I remain Allie
The old psoas and L3 will now be officially relaxed and stretched to allow the gait to become straight. My desire is strong, but, what is this tiredness? Takes a lot of energy to heal, doing PT exercises or not. And yes, the long wound on my side reminds me every day, as do the nerves in my leg, that we are still in the beginning. Muscles need re training, rest and recovery , this was a BIG surgery.
Reminded that matters of scale were always hard for me- nothing was ever too difficult, too complex, to impossible-seeming. Now, however, the real deal is to get down and just do this repetitive work of PT. "Yes we can" is the motto and Repeat! Whew. A new adventure.
Also wandered over to our neighborhood YMCA where we are members to try some upper body strengtheners. Gotta keep the balance now...
New lebanese place had a warm moussaka ready for the post training recovery. Continuing to savor all that is.....
Now Newell is going out to vote- and I will rest.....
a sweet rain today -
in appreciative amazement, I remain Allie
Sunday, September 7, 2008
Walking Harmony Meditation- Allie
So the former musings about savoring were really the beginnings of the deeper, wider appreciation of the moment-by-moment existence that this type of surgical recovery requires. Nothing is the same as before. The famous 'hip precautions' require a 6 month (minimum) period of: No Bending, keep torso at least 90% angle from lower body at ALL times, do a series of 100 straight leg lifts to front, side and back -both legs. Increase walking distance each day. And 3 x week physical therapy. This is work, tiring, yet the progress is wonderful to experience. My re-learning of a proper gait will take time, the Dr. as well as my PT said.
Take it S-L-O-W (L-Y!)
Savoring this current reality and letting the other pressures slip aside ( I hope I prepared well...) work mates and friends very attentive with cards and emails and requests for visits, yet somehow, I am relishing the singular healing space of our Albany home, garden and various rooms 'holding' me as I move through mundane tasks, sit here, exercise there, prepare a snack there, etc. The voices of children and dogs are music, as well as the many birds singing in the back yards in the city neighborhood. Weather has been amazingly beautiful. Nice support there. Washington Park walks a daily - my walking meditation- I visit the Moses statue each late afternoon, sit and watch the light dance over the tops of the late sumer blooms- so divine!
Pain diminishing somewhat -actually easier without the meds. Sleeping still a problem, as comfort doesn't come easy..yet. (Is that a false belief..?) Have permission to shower now, pressure of the water was a surprise. And my toes enjoyed the wet soapiness. Mind able to drift, read some good fiction, muse, write and, thanks to Andrea, who brought pastels, do some drawing! Yoga poses emerging also as part of daily routine- breathing (pranayama) a very big help- essential to move the energy. Music variations also key, as well a playing the tibetan bowls - I actually danced a litte this am after a nice leg and foot massage from my beloved Newell. ( He went out to a great jazz concert last night with friends- I passed- too much stim: NG)
Today we savored luncheon with Thyag, Kate and Lara on State Street, after running into an OMH pal on the street. Good food and conversation about the complexity of our times and the importance of building communities that help create meaning and thriving for all folks. This is what we do, Newell and I, or at least strive to. So thankful for Paris experience coming up thanks to Thyag's generous offer to
share his space near Montmartre with us. Newell and I have yet to be there together. Family bond very deep with Thyag, Kate and Lara, I feel.
Gave some Save the Date cards for Lara to put at the Olana restaurant in NYC- for fundraiser at work Oct 18th. Imagine: 150 jack o'lanterns carved by by children and adults in MHA programs- sprinkled every few feet down a forest walk at dusk - to an amazing view of the Hudson River - the watershed view overlooking the Rip Van Winkle bridge! Check out this website for the details on joining us: http://www.mhacg.org/whoWeAre/events.htm
My savoring of the learning to walk again is like imagining again as I did as a child- the Native Americans walked so as not to leave any imprint on the earth, or make any sound, so as not to disturb the great magnificence- in my meditations this afternoon I ask: "can we learn again to savor each moment, return to a quiet inside, so our steps and words and actions and thoughts and feelings all combine to create a harmony? The distress all around is so unwieldy that I am really pulled to the life of simplicity again. Not too much, but just enough- don't not express, just BE Present, Go With the Flow, Enjoy Life and Share your Gifts!"
love, Allie- Blog posting Sunday afternoon Sept 7th 2008
Take it S-L-O-W (L-Y!)
Savoring this current reality and letting the other pressures slip aside ( I hope I prepared well...) work mates and friends very attentive with cards and emails and requests for visits, yet somehow, I am relishing the singular healing space of our Albany home, garden and various rooms 'holding' me as I move through mundane tasks, sit here, exercise there, prepare a snack there, etc. The voices of children and dogs are music, as well as the many birds singing in the back yards in the city neighborhood. Weather has been amazingly beautiful. Nice support there. Washington Park walks a daily - my walking meditation- I visit the Moses statue each late afternoon, sit and watch the light dance over the tops of the late sumer blooms- so divine!
Pain diminishing somewhat -actually easier without the meds. Sleeping still a problem, as comfort doesn't come easy..yet. (Is that a false belief..?) Have permission to shower now, pressure of the water was a surprise. And my toes enjoyed the wet soapiness. Mind able to drift, read some good fiction, muse, write and, thanks to Andrea, who brought pastels, do some drawing! Yoga poses emerging also as part of daily routine- breathing (pranayama) a very big help- essential to move the energy. Music variations also key, as well a playing the tibetan bowls - I actually danced a litte this am after a nice leg and foot massage from my beloved Newell. ( He went out to a great jazz concert last night with friends- I passed- too much stim: NG)
Today we savored luncheon with Thyag, Kate and Lara on State Street, after running into an OMH pal on the street. Good food and conversation about the complexity of our times and the importance of building communities that help create meaning and thriving for all folks. This is what we do, Newell and I, or at least strive to. So thankful for Paris experience coming up thanks to Thyag's generous offer to
share his space near Montmartre with us. Newell and I have yet to be there together. Family bond very deep with Thyag, Kate and Lara, I feel.
Gave some Save the Date cards for Lara to put at the Olana restaurant in NYC- for fundraiser at work Oct 18th. Imagine: 150 jack o'lanterns carved by by children and adults in MHA programs- sprinkled every few feet down a forest walk at dusk - to an amazing view of the Hudson River - the watershed view overlooking the Rip Van Winkle bridge! Check out this website for the details on joining us: http://www.mhacg.org/whoWeAre/events.htm
My savoring of the learning to walk again is like imagining again as I did as a child- the Native Americans walked so as not to leave any imprint on the earth, or make any sound, so as not to disturb the great magnificence- in my meditations this afternoon I ask: "can we learn again to savor each moment, return to a quiet inside, so our steps and words and actions and thoughts and feelings all combine to create a harmony? The distress all around is so unwieldy that I am really pulled to the life of simplicity again. Not too much, but just enough- don't not express, just BE Present, Go With the Flow, Enjoy Life and Share your Gifts!"
love, Allie- Blog posting Sunday afternoon Sept 7th 2008
Saturday, September 6, 2008
Day 18 - Saturday
The muggy spell has finally turned into rain.
Allie stopping the heavy duty painkillers - switch to Aleve.
Awakening Heart workshop today.
Allie stopping the heavy duty painkillers - switch to Aleve.
Awakening Heart workshop today.
Friday, September 5, 2008
Day 17 -Friday
Thursday went to Doctor Czajka's office, Allie's ortho surgeon. Staples out. Xray's taken. 11:50 to 2:00.
Everything looking good. Small difference in length between the two legs - 1/4 inch or so.
Lunch at BSF.
Visit from friend Sharon in the later afternoon. more great greek food.
Allie talked with Aunt Teal. She is recovering for heart event and other health complications of being in mid 80's and not real physically active.
Bit of a meltdown late evening. She slept well.
I stayed up and watched the Republican war dance.
Today a little cooler and calmer, slight breeze- weather and Allie.
The PT encourager had arrived for last home visit. Next week we start going out to the office-based PT.
Allie has been real pleased with what she has offered.
Go to work Newell....
Everything looking good. Small difference in length between the two legs - 1/4 inch or so.
Lunch at BSF.
Visit from friend Sharon in the later afternoon. more great greek food.
Allie talked with Aunt Teal. She is recovering for heart event and other health complications of being in mid 80's and not real physically active.
Bit of a meltdown late evening. She slept well.
I stayed up and watched the Republican war dance.
Today a little cooler and calmer, slight breeze- weather and Allie.
The PT encourager had arrived for last home visit. Next week we start going out to the office-based PT.
Allie has been real pleased with what she has offered.
Go to work Newell....
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Day 15- Wednesday- Albany
The three days of adventures were a little over the top for her so today its slow down time: hanging out at the house, short walks, watering plants, short visits from friends and neighbors. And the return of the physical therapist.
I went to the gym and worked some.
another beuatful day weather wise in Albany. I think summer ends in October now.
Sunday-Monday-Tuesday - Labor Day weekend
As the daily observer I'm amazed at the speed of Allie's progress. Its not always sequential. Most days she is a little stronger but some days she has extended herself too much or has had a rough night trying to sleep. The physical therapist comes three times a week and pushes her threw these intense series of exercise. I generally try to stay away when thats happening. I figure she's going to start pushing me around next.
Sunday we took our first big car ride- 45 minutes up to Saratoga to Marion's and then with Marion and Winnie 45 minutes up to Lake George for an evening feast at the Inn at Erlowest Inn, in one of the Queen Anne style castles along of Millionaires Row on the westside of the Lake. Marion has read it was one of the best new restaurants in the Capital District. the food, the vistas and the conversations were all wortht the trip.
Monday - trip two - we spent the afternoon ambling down through the west bank of the Hudson River Valley arriving at Why Not Farm five hours later ( its usually an hour and little commute). We stop and had lunch in Yanee Too on the River in Ravena (looks like a good spot to put in a kayak), down to Catskill for Al to show me the redone waterfront area, over the Rip Van Winkle and then back roads to the farm. i took a nice end of the day bike ride.
Tuesday I came back to Albany for a work project. Allie stayed down at the farm for an afternoon picnic with cousin Bill and Tory and then Jeannie gave her a ride back up to Albany where I had dinner ready.
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